Out of Left Field
I’m going to share a story, one I know you all can relate to.
How many times have you been in this situation: You’re in a conversation with your teen about the after school schedule, or you’re sharing something that happened to you or you’re letting them know what needs to be done for the day (i.e. chores)…a conversation where their attention must be had, and, out of left field, comes this comment: “Mom, I drafted Antonio Brown on Madden and he scored 2 touchdowns and helped me beat the Eagles!”
WHHAAAATTTT? Are you kidding me???? Did you not hear anything I just said? Where did that come from????? Why did you interrupt me?
This is so typical for those with ADHD. It is normal. It is impulsive. It is lacking self-control. Some may even consider it rude. It’s what’s on their mind because something is important to them. In this case, it was Madden.
BUT, as I’m always striving to see the positives in ADHD and help my son become better at managing it and how he presents himself to others, here’s my interpretation: it’s also his way of connecting to me and wanting me to have an interest in his “world” or, in this particular conversation, Madden. It’s also what’s on his mind. He doesn’t want to forget to tell me right then and there, so, it gets blurted out. He is sharing. He is present. He also has my attention.
After we spend time (not too much, mind you!) talking about his team, I circle back to the “What were we talking about before Madden?” I then ask him to repeat the conversation. And guess what? He repeats it…every time…word for word.
So, what to do when the comments and words just come tumbling out that are completely irrelevant to the conversation at hand? Two things:
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Go with it!
I acknowledge how happy he must have been to have Antonio Brown score for him. If we get more into Madden for a couple minutes, then we get more into Madden for a couple minutes – what’s the big deal? No harm no foul! I’m engaged with my son the way he needs me to be. I’m asking the same of him, am I not?
I can’t stress enough how important it is to acknowledge what our children share with us. While I have absolutely no interest in Madden, that’s not the point. My son does. I don’t need to be an expert in it to engage and react and acknowledge. Those little acts of listening and commenting go further than you realize. You are teaching your child to react, respond, engage, validate and acknowledge when someone shares something with them. That, my friends, is the big picture in ALL of this.
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Remember it is also a teachable moment.